#441

Labels: Me Myself I

#440

I'm super bored! I'm waiting for Kenneth to wake up so I can pack my room!!!

I have been rotting since 10am.. Haiz.. Super super duper sianz!


I have a list of things that I want to buy

1. A new Hi-Fi that allows me to insert my itouch to it
2. A new netbook.
3. A new hp. I'm stuck between BB,E72 and Iphone
4. A new bed. Queen or super single doesn't matter
5. A new wardrode

I want to throw

1. My bed
2. My study table
3. My wardrode


I'm practically so sian

I want to do

1. Curl my hair
2. Rebond my hair
3. Watch New Moon

that's all for now...

5th - BBQ
6th - Anim wedding
7th - New Semester
11th - Chalet
14th - Back from chalet
25th - Xmas
26th - BG rom solemenization

and now I wan to go shopping!!!

Labels: Misc

#438

finally tml will be my last paper...
I really regret not studying well or properly for my econs and law paper...
I'm prepared for the supp paper but still I'm not feeling good and very sad.

No one seems to understand how I feel... And I don't know how to express myself to them.
I'm tired!

FOA 2 paper tml, I'm trying my best to keep doing the tutorial qns but at the same time I'm afraid that the questions tml will be very different from the tutorial qns.
I'm really going crazy. This sems seems to keep me busy from studies. I couldn't concentrate and I'm not in any mood to prepare myself for the exams at all.
Well, I told them... No one believes. They thought I'm okay and will be fine... The fact is I'm not okay at all! I can say since the start of this sems, I seriously don know what's going on. Beside the things that had happened, and most of the time in class, I was like wandering around... And the stress I have got in office recently....

I have alot of stuffs I need to do and prepare for my new boss.
I miss Raymond.. Haiz

no one is giving me stress but I'm giving myself stress...
Everyone hopes I can do well or I will do well, but I can't.. I don want to disappoint them but I really can't get myself to settle down and study without thinking of the office work and him.

I wan to win but I only know how to say but no action from me at all.
I tried my best to do during exam... But everything just gone when I saw the paper.. At that moment I know it was a gone case for me. My mind went blank.
I tried my best to squeeze whatever I can but nothing comes out....

I told them, I can't... But they said, there shouldn't be any problem for me.
No ones believes what I said and thought that I'm fake when I said I sure fail... Just becos I passed all in first sems?

I'm really tired... I'm not that clever or steady as what people had thought of...
This sems, I died!
It's going to be a tough one for me next sems...
With 4 modules and the supp papers... I don know how am I going to deal with it

humans are selfish creatures...
So in order to protect urself, u ought to be selfish...
I'm going to be selfish....

Wish me all the best for tml...
I really hope I can excel for tml...

Labels: Sudden Thoughts

#437

7more days to my 2nd sems exam!!!

Well, I'm not well prepared at all infact not even prepared!
I'm drained during work!

I dread of going to work now... Maybe phobia. There are 2 times I actually wanted to tender. This actually the first time I'm losing my cool...
Well, I just hope everything will be over fast. My exams over. Everything over.

Exams don't seem to be in my mind at all! I can't concentrate on studies and put myself to revision. I was extreme tired everyday after work. Having headache and can't even tahan till 1am, I will definitely fall asleep. I'm not doing any reading at night even though I tell myself i have to.

I really have the urge of quitting my work and study full time... But there are times I really can't get myself to quit the job.
I don Noe what to do....

It's super irritating and frustrating... Having so many problems going on during this period. A big challenge for me....

I'm missing him... Alot and alot...
He simply occupying my mind constantly, but how do I tell him??
(:

Labels: Me Myself I, Sudden Thoughts

#436

我知道你还是爱我
虽然分开的理由
我们都已接
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使道最后
还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会往离开时
闭着眼没会头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实着份爱没停过
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流。。。

I'm stuck in my revision，nothing seems to go in and I can't understand a single thing. This is so serious...
How am I going to take exam in this situation!?

Sucks. My ankle hurts again.. Damn it!
I wan to do alot of things but studying for exams doesn't seem to be on the list.. I need a place with nothing that can't tempt me... My house is definitely no no place for me.

Library seems to ve crowded and noisy!
Where else???

I need to rent a room at pasir ris to lock myself inside and study...
I hate exams!!!

Please bless me.. I really don want to retake..

Labels: Me Myself I

#435

OKAY.IM VAIN. HAHA.

THAT JL SUDDENLY ASK ME TO MAKE UP FOR HIM TO SEE..KINDA OF WEIRD LA.

HE ASKING ME TO MEET HIM UP THIS WEEK, ANY DAY AFTER MY LESSON.... I TOLD HIM FRIDAY, BUT FRIDAY NO LESSON. HAHA. AND I DIN KNOW.
BUT I HAD MADE PLAN FOR MY FRIDAY.
MJ'S THIS IT IS...

22DAYS MORE TO EXAMS...AND IM STILL FARMING AND COOKING IN FB. CANT YOU IMAGINE..

WHO THE HELL CREATE THIS GAME...IM SO ADDICTTED TO IT NOW
GOSH...

YTD DINT GO TO WORK COS WASNT FEELING THAT WELL...SO WAS RESTING AT HOME.

I ACTUALLY WOKE UP AT 6AM..DEN BACK TO SLEEP ALL THE WAY TILL 10PLUS.
BUT THE ACTUAL TIMING I ACTUALLY GOT MYSELF OUT OF BED WAS ARD 1 PLUS. HELPED MY DAD WITH HIS GST AND HE BOUGHT LUNCH FOR ME AS RETURN. HAHA.

LUCKILY. COS IM SUPER DUPER HUNGRY...
HAD LUNCH AS WELL AS WATCHING ANY SHOWS I CAN FIND ...
WATCHED JIA HAO YUE YUAN...
DEN I GOT A MISSED CALL FROM MY COLLEAGUE. ASKING ME SOME PASSWORD FOR THE SYSTEM.

I GAVE HIM..BUT WAS WRONG. LOL!!
DEN IM ABIT PANIC..SO I WENT TO BATHE AND GOT MYSELF A CAB AND CHIONG ALL THE WAY TO UC.

515 REACHED OFFICE..LOOKING AROUND FOR THE PASSWORD THAT I REMEMBER I WROTE DOWN SOMEWHERE..BUT COULDNT FIND..

IN THE END, MY COLLEAGUE HACK THE PASSWORD.
DURING THE JOURNEY TO UC, MY HEAD WAS LIKE SO PAIN AND I FELT LIKE VOMITTING.

AFTER THAT 545, I WENT TO TAKE BUS TO DG FOR MY EVENING LESSON. MY HEAD STILL HAVING PAIN AND I TRIED TO SLEEP BUT I CANT.
THE FEELINGS JUST SIMPLY SUCKS!

REACHED CLASSROOM, I WENT CONCUSS.

NOT FEELING WELL AS WELL AS NOT HAPPY COS SOMETHING WAS WRONG.
WELL, I DONT KNOW HOW TO SAY, BUT START TO THINK OF THE CONVERSATION I HAD WITH WENDY AND JOJO AT THE GRAFFITIC CAFE...

HAD A FUNNY ENCOUNTER DURING THE BREAK TIME. THIS CLASSMATE OF MINE CAME TO ME AND TALKED TO ME. ASKING ME WHY AM I SO QUIET. HAHA..DEN HE TRIED TO BREAK THE ICE BY INTRODUCING HIMSELF TO (HAND SHAKE SOMEMORE). HE IS FUNNY AND FRIENDLY.I WAN TO MIGRATE TO THEIR GROUP...MAYBE I WILL BE HAPPIER~

ANYWAY, IM NOT GOING TO THINK ALL THE UNHAPPY THINGS. AS IT WILL ONLY MAKE ME MORE UNHAPPY... IM GOING TO IGNORE EVERYTHING AT LEAST FOR NOW.

EVEN 1 DAY, THERE ISNT ANYONE THERE FOR ME, I KNOW MY COUSINS WILL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME...WHENEVER I NEED THEM....

LOVE EM ALL

Labels: Celebration, Me Myself I

#434

I just checked my email...

I know im petty and i shouldnt care or even bother so much.
If she is more important, than thats be it. I shouldnt care so much and let it affect me.
I know something must have happened, but i just dont want to ask... afraid to know.
Since he wants to hide, and i should act blur too.
Cos i really dont wish to bother it anymore.
Im TIRED.

but i really cant make myself not to think about it. WTF la
why must i get to know this at this kind of timing.
My head hurts now.

Why am i doing so much and not being appreciated?
Why must i keep thinking what i should do for him?
Why must i always be so sad cos of him?
WHY? WHY? WHY?
Why my mind is always him him him him & HIM?
Why am i being controlled by him?
Why my emotional is being affected by him?
WHY? WHY? WHY?

I keep telling myself, dont think and dont think and dont think...
Why just cant my mind be obedient?
Why should i care so much about him?

Me doing so much and she not doing anything, in the end, she is always the one who comes to your mind first.

Im just so tired . . .
im tired ... and im helpless...
i dont wish to do anything or bother anything or care anything.
ANYTHING ABOUT HIM IS NON OF MY BUSINESS NOW.
I WAN TO GET HIM OUT OF MY LIFE.

Im sick of doing so many things that make me so fake.
I hate myself to be so happy whenever i tell 'Asshole' about him.
I hate that he can actually make me so go happy and sad.
I hate that i actually did so much for him.

Well, i should get on with my life and stop disturbing him anymore.

Say me crazy or whatever you like.
this is me.

suddenly alot of things came into my mind.
picturing of them going out tgt.
i hate this.
there is fear and my tears are fighting to come out.
i dont want.
im afraid.


Today after work, i walked to the guard house to do something before i left the Campus. I saw this colleague of mine from other department sitting outside waiting for the shuttle bus.

He : How come you walked out of the guard house?
Me : Cos i walked in from there and out from here.
He : Waiting for bus also
Me : nope, im walking to station, you waiting for bus huh?
He : Ya.

*very funny, we just started talking like that, and he just accompanied me to station...*
so we were talking and talking...

at the zebra crossing, when we about to cross, there was this taxi who was so engrossed on the other side of the road and missed to see there is actually a zebra crossing, and sway sway, me and him was crossing the road. & even more sway, i nearly got hit down if he din sudden brake.
He scolded the driver... i found it funny more than scared cos before we were crossing the road, he was actually telling me he has changed alot... and has nearly 1.5yrs since he last scolded valguar language, but he actually nearly scolded valguarity at the driver.

I laughed at him.But he was still telling me about the driver. Saying he would have asked the driver to come down and talked.
HaHaHa....
then he told me, just now i dont know whether i should scold the driver or pull you away.
I kept on laughing, cos the way he said, was damn funny.
He is a funny guy.

met up with dap to settle our lunch and do some mini shopping.
I need to get hp pouch, earphone, heels...
but i cant get any in the end...

went to anim house to get his wedding invitation card.
he is cute and i miss him alot! :)

walked back to dap house while me continue walking to the bus stop back to my house.
the weather is scary hot. and im tired.
yet to fully recover from my body aching...

& now im doing my dad's account as well as blogging...
im not happy today!

Labels: Sudden Thoughts

#433

Confirmed & guarantee CHOPPED!
It’s his last day today! Don’t know but feel sad and sian.

I went to his department today, a place where I seldom go cause it’s so out of place, but I actually went after getting a call from his colleague regarding about keys. This is so unlike me, normally I will take my own sweet time to find the key and ask the person to collect it from me instead of me going down to the department.

I passed him 2 papers to sign. 1 for him to sign out and 1 for his replacement to sign in.He din get my message, so I went back to him after attending to other colleague, and told him that he has to help me signed the forms and gave back to me.

So that how our mini and short formal conversation started. It’s really very formal kind of conversation. He passed me the handover form to sign. He told me he doesn’t drive so he doesn’t have season parking. I dint reply him but just nodded my head. I should reply him, Oh okay. I’m always so rude and not knowing what to do or say especially when facing the one whom I think it cute and have good impression. No. I don’t like him, but I really find him a nice and cute guy! HAHA. I wanted to photocopy after I signed, but the copier was busy photocopying something, so I asked him to photocopy for me and passed it to me later. He asked me whether he needs to photocopy 2 sides or 1 side. I told him 1 side. After that I regretted, I should have asked him to photocopy 2 sides, as the other side has his particulars. So I went back office, called him and told him I need 2 sides. :P I’m cheeky. Ha Ha.

No more chances to see him in the campus. This is just so sad. 2mths. I rarely talk to him.

1st time – his 1st day, he came up to get his access card and keys, but I wasn’t around, so my colleague attended to him. He emailed me asking for his cabinet keys and wastebin. So, I replied back and he came up to take. He’s nice, cos he offered to come up and take when I told him I will pass to him later.
2nd time – after our English exam paper. He came out before the paper ends.
3rd time – he came to my department, wanting to borrow ladder, and when he knew that my department was having meeting that time (I dint attend), he was so paisey and talked so softly to me. That time, he was standing super close to me. 1cm or even lesser away from me.
4th time – which is also the last time. I asked him to sign the forms. NO MORE LIAO. All the best to him (:

I started to show symptoms of stress. That is keep wanting to eat. I went to giant on Tuesday night with Daphne. We bought a lot of junk food as if it was free. We spent $16+ each on tidbits. Crazy! I bought 1 mayonnaise flavor, 1 hot and spicy, 1 BBQ cheesy, 1 cheesy cheddar, 1 spicy fish don’t know what, 1 loaf of soft grain wholemeal bread, 1 tin of Tuna Mayonnaise. That loaf of bread together with the tuna mayonnaise is for my breakfast, so every morning when I reach office; I will spread the tuna on the bread. My officer hates the smell of the tuna, so I will purposely eat the tuna infront of him. Haha.

Now then I realize that what my favorite foods are.
PASTA / SPAGETTIC – must be in cheesy.
SUSHI
SALMON
FISH – tuna, sardine, etc…
BEAN SPROUTS
POTATO
EGG – steamed, fried, half boiled
I LOVE THE POTATO TORNADO and the FRIED CHICKEN with mayo & chili from TAKA
OYSTER MEE SUA but I don’t like oyster.

I prefer noodle more to rice. (:im hungry now. I want to go Tung Luk lunch buffet! I want to whack the chili crab & the salmon.
After Exams, im going to enjoy myself for that pathetic 1 week break.K singing at Iluma or Safra ; Slacking at Marina Barrage ; Eating at Ma Mansion (bugis or central) ; chilling at Ben & Jerry @ Dempsey or Timbre.

Monday – Ma Mansion
Tuesday – pending…
Wednesday – Timbre / Dempsey
Thursday – pending…
Friday – Safra
Saturday – Marina Barrage / Iluma / Henderson Waves…
Sunday – Tung Luk Lunch / REST for work and School.
As if I will really follow my plan~ Ha Ha…

But before exams start, I want to watch movies! 1. Micheal Jackson – This Is It.
2. Halloween 2
3. Darah
4. Pandorum
5. The Twilight Saga: New Moon

Can I skip my exams? Cos I really have lots of things to do. I need to watch 5 movies and 5 places to go. Where got time for exams? HAHA.I still want to go ZOO. I am sure I will be able to find people to go with me! Haha


“When I see your smile, I know that’s not for me. That’s when I know I miss you”

Labels: Me Myself I, Misc

#432

The weather was horrible, terrible hot and i was under the sun for 15mins, walking from MDIS to Tea Garden.It was terrible hot and hot and hot.

Why am i always so tired these days?
Yesterday i missed my station again. This was the 4th time i missed my bus stop and station...
Alighted at Pioneer Mall, still have to walk 5-8mins to the bus stop to wait for my bus in order for me to reach home.

I was super blur! & I dont know whats going on too.
My head hurts alot and my bag was heavy. I bought back my lecture notes that i left it in my office.
Went to food court to look for my family to have dinner.
Im hungry and my stomach hurt too. I could feel the acute pain around my stomach there.
After i bathed, i lied down flat on the floor. As the pain was killing me. I sat up and lied down, but everything seems to be wrong.

I went online for awhile. with less than 30mins,i went offline.
I fell asleep but eventually woke up to watch my show. I missed my 12mn show.
i was lying on my bed from 10plus all the way till 1am plus i woke up.
i thought i forget to do something.
i dreamt. A group of friends from sec sch and the special someone in it.
The dream was weird. He knows my sec sch friends. twC isnt there in the dream.
i continued sleeping ...
Dreams are always so different from reality.

I was feeling so grumpy this morning. i 'scolded' jie for not folding his bed. I took the same bus as him, but we dint talk. He was walking behind me all the way to the train and still we dint talk. There wasnt any empty seats for me. I was extreme sleepy and tired. My whole body is cracking and aching. I took a short nap on my journey to cmonwealth.

My stomach hurt again. & i really dont feel like going to school later. I want to rest at home. But i hate to tell them why i absent myself from work.
I need a quiet place to settle myself down for serious revision. My room is too tempting for me to slack rather than study.
28 more days to 1st paper, and i have yet to touch any books. This isnt the right way! Worst still, i might need to be back in office on 12 & 13 Nov for the external audit. Cool right. 4 audit in 1 yr.

i seem to be more troubled this sems as compared to last sems. there are alot of things in my mind, and studying isnt in my TO DO LIST at all. I dont feel any pressure as compared to last sems. This sems, im wasting my time to school to slack and to make myself feeling so sad.
seriously, i dont feel happy at all. I realised alot of things. Friends arent that nice that you thought they are.

im glad that there is still someone who is there. that someone who is so so simple yet complicated to make my life goes happy and angry.
but it is always happy and funny more than angry and sad.
there are times i wanted to feel angry, but i dont know why, that anger doesnt last long. it will be over soon after that someone talks to me.
this is the 1st time i actually felt this way towards a person.even twC, i dont have this kind of feeling. A Simple yet Complicated kinda of feeling. I dont know how to tell that someone how exactly i feel cos i dont even know myself.
that someone's emotion can affect me somehow or rather.
It seems like im living for that someone's sack. HahaHa
I always think of what to get for that somone. *lol* sound so stupid.
shirt.watch.wallet.bag.aiyo everything also feel like getting for someone.
p/s: someone very different from other pple. u will never guess what he thinks.
i think im SIAO la!

My mickey mouse leaving soon... SAD. no more motivation to go to work liao~ HAHA
maybe its time for me to leave also >.<>

Labels: Me Myself I

#431

While sorting and re-write the notes i had learnt from my past 1yr at MDIS (for easier reference for the next person taking over me), i realised in that note book of mine, i actually wrote down a list of things i wanted to buy...

There are 10 items in total :

1. iTouch $388
2. Cardholder $300
3. Agnes B Bag $170
4. Kate Spage Bag $320
5. Burberry Bag $390
6. Vagary Watch $260
7. LongChamp Bag $240
8. Coach ~$300
9. Coin Holder ~$100
10. Key Holder ~$150

Left 2 more items. . .
but instead of reducing it...
i have more to add on.

1. Handphone
2. Agnes B Bag Charm
3. Lanyard

I found these 2 pages which i wrote last year. OMG. It was so wordy. Haha. Its all bout twC stuffs...

This shows what. I miss him alot last time. Haha
Anyway, i still hate school~
1 day less than a month to my 1st paper and im still slacking around. WONDERFUL GURL IM !

Labels: Me Myself I, Misc

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